most likely its the alcihole speaking but right now i am soooo mad that sumin is gona happen, im mad cos its gona happen cos someone else who is considered a bit of a ho is being favoured over me because i come across to EVERYONE aparently as as a borther/ family type official. i come t pece with this (what seemed to be) fact being seen in this way is ok ut for some people its jus like ojh for fuck sake!!
ppl see you in tis light because its nigce to them and it suits them that means i cna like this dude withiouft it being wierd, im pretty sure thats the thought that goes thru there mind, becoaus of htis no one gets to see the real me, all my life ive put a front and because of that ppl think thats how i am, ppl chane when tehy are alone with you so why am i any different!!
no one wants to give me a chancw so you knw wat i say?
wat ever!
if they dont wnt the potenial then wat ever. i am thru lookin a fool, i am thru tryna find a kinda luv amongst ppl i kno, i am thru thinkin friends are worth alot more than they actually are!
fuck emotions and fuck my peoples, partially down to me that this has happend, i have one goal in life and if it doesnt happen with this goal, i will completely imbrace the shinobe way!
im not young anymore, ppl at my age are having kids and living thier lives doing something at least, i dont have THING GOIN MY WAY so ya kno wat, wat ever.
my heart breaks and weeps the only thing i can count on is dubstep. i count on that it wont go away in a hurry. i cnt even count on myself to be of anysue to the fam so i count onf dub to keep my head above water, because if i dont count on that, my mind will take me to a dark place.
unfortuantly i can do nothing to prove this point, i cant send texts, and becuase of this i wont get any for myself, for the most part i wont gwt anyhing, ppl who have unlimited texts wont send the stupid texts anymore and tats what i look forward too cos its something.as of sat 3.33 i have had 6 texts 2 is a present msg and one is a group msg.
meditation is the key to my problems!!
