first of all ive come to the extent that i need ti be alne fir a while to collct my thoughts also change my view on lfe and people, todat 2 women stared at me and ya kno wat i did, i jus looked bk blank and then looked away at the the time it didnt go thru my head that i shud have done something more even a smile i think woud have surficed but i remained gaumless and and twat! i see no one has left a comment about my youtbe links so ya kno wat ever, my thing on life is dont takt it so seriously. dnt take life so seriously that my beliefe in life except in my case i dnt take a dam thing seriously. argh its ment to be a blog lets get onto something more interesting no one wants to read about my feelings blegh its not man like hrm.
im totally a trekie i luv it i record it on my freeview box thats how lame i am and i not affraid to say it. my sweet amy goes to kent tomo and im sad aout that because we havnt had a day together since i been back we been out a few times but i much prefer one on ones cos thats when pple come into there own i think plus i can look at my mates in a different eye espec if they are new mates.
ahhh recently came out to someone told em i fancied them and for a while i though i did, bit over the weeks ive been thinkin bout them a quite a bit and i dont! they are prety no doubt if i got involed ( thats to say if i cud be ivolved im not prety enuf so im not :-p) in a situation it wud be too awkward. so ive come to the conclusion that i want them to be happy i want to be the one to be trusted, the comforter if you will. only a hand ful know about my situation but for those who know will read this and get it (i hope)
i dnt need sex abd closenes to be happy jus as long as im wanted i can be happy with wat i got, my hapiness is at an all time high its only when i want more and that i realised i have more than the rest that i get a bit upset. ahhhh this isnt a blog this is a realisation for me. im too much of a free spirit to be stucj to one person, but thaths to say if i can even get one person, not possibl im socially retarded. one of those things i missed whilst always listening to my music. gues it woild help if i had an ambition. hrmm
if someone wud give me a chance id like to think id make a good man, hahahaha sadness, admitting that last bit hurts deep real deep. try to forwrd myself in the girl front by i always manafes to do something stupid. my man mike got it on loc knows wat to do doesnt always work out to his advantage but ya kno hes always got something to talk about i got nothing. hrmm my life argh.
id say its adma good thing men arw gd at hiding their feelings in some cases. this is affecting too much of my life atm so i feel i got do something about it.
argh gota get up for work soon time for brd come bk when im sober.
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