is it bad that i want to better myself for the wrong reasons? this came to mind after i asked myself is it stupid that i want someone to inspire me to do more....... in my sleep deprived state that actualy made sense, seeing it in front of me now it jus looks retarded! disgaurding that comment read on.
Ive asked myself this question quite a few times and each time i come to the same conclusion but i come to it differently each time. because as we all know its all about number 1, you! if your not happy then things have to change. and i think its fair to say that this is the rule for life it happens at college, you dont like the course so you change it, it happens at work, it happens with objects and food. If you dont like something then it changes right? well why doesnt this apply to relationships? why do people stay in a relationship with someone that they have fallen out of love with. is the prospect of being alone soo frightening, perhaps its the effort of trying to find another girl, i dnt know i think that said person has got used to someone always being around or having someone to hang out with. because you have a relationship like this with the rents do you not? but you grow out of the parents because well... theyre your parents, you got things you got desires that they cannot fufill so you look else where for company because you can, you know there is someone else better out there.
so then why does this not work with other people? why can you not tell someone its not working, why is it soo dam hard. ill tell you why because falling in love with someone is a joke its all there for you to see you fall in love with someone, love is like a pit you just keep falling and the longer you leave it the harder it is to climb out of that pit. at this point i sound like a heartless joyless knob whos just had his heart broken well not true because heres wat i believe in, i think that you should admire and respect someone. respect that they can look after them selves, that they like spending time with you and with other people and most importantly respect that they might have bigger dreams than what you have in mind. treasure that time you spend together because when its gone its gone and tomo it wont be the same but you can always get off on how good a time it was. I say this because you can only have so much respect for someone before it becomes and obsession, after that its the whole pit theory again.
if it all goes wrong this wont protect you but i like to think that it helps, because you werent so dependant on someone.
gota bunch of other crap on my mind and that ill come at you with, in the mean time im gona end this on a music vibe.
this charming man - the smiths (argh theres something in my eye WHHHHYY) is a great song i gota give props to mike once again for turnin me to it, i think it would do well in the charts if someone sang it again. bought another pair of skull candy headphones my 4th pair!! they havnt lasted me longer than a month with the execption of my full metal jackets that my lodger broke (and WILL replace) uk grime is havin a big effect in the way i feel about music, all this electro and hip hop is kinda buggin me i need to get out there and find something new. thats wat i always say but now im starting to think that maybe i shud take a break. i wana write my own shit but the problem there is i got too many beats in my head at one time and when i try and get it down the beat changes. everytime i come up with a good beat to spit im in a public place by myself and look dumb. argggh (i be a pirate)
(BIG FUCKING SIGH) LIFE!!! why does everything feel so trivial? is it just me or does lifes problems not seem so bad in comparison?? hrmmm ponder on the loo
p.s. not proof read
peace.xx
No comments:
Post a Comment