In Response

over the past few months i have looked at my life and how i view it, takin pretty much everything as a joke cos i dnt wana put yself out there due to my lack of confidence thnx to my earlier years. i say silly little things and have comments that more often than not people just dont reply to or just ignore =\ it is leading me to the conclusion that either my friends have just been crushed under the weight of the world and have become lame or i am still kinda childish, i know im rather childish so i have to think its that.

being ignored or unapriciated sucks! makes man jus wana stop caring about everthing and live a life of just rules cos it seems thats the only way to get on in this world atm. i need to become famous so i dnt have to commit to these everday rules but im not good at anything so its stickin to the norm for me unfortunatly. i really wana find those people who are like me in a way kinda chilish so the weight of the world doesnt get them down unfortunatly i think theyre all students so i may be alone on that front. feeling crumy so hence fourth all random texts will stop and shall be put into note form cos people stopped caring along time ago ive jus refused to beleive it up until now laaaame!!

now that ive realised this i cant help but feel contempt for those i call my friends but it will pass with a few nights sleep, its not in my blood to hate or hold a grudge. the only thing thats really buggin me atm is when someones homesick in a far away land im over popular but when they come back im jus some needy guy. my response to that is... feh, im gona finish what i started (a present for a bday that was promised) deliver it and be done with them, i wont provoke or bother any longer not as if ill be missed or anything. i know im being over sensitive bout this i cant help how i feel about a situation but i can dull down how i feel or rather push it down push it way way down deal with it later.

... =\ feels like everything i like in this world is being stripped bare and im gona be left with a barel and slacks, bad times but hey its life i cant jus give up suicide has corssed my mind a few times but giving up is soo mich harder than carrying on besides most things, most problems in this world feel soo trivial to me i dnt have any real problems, sure i dnt have a job or many plans for the future or a girl but i have food a family a roof over my head and a system that cares enough to keep me just inside the loop, i so i cant just gie up. ive gota find that something that makes this life so none trivial gota find that someone i gues, thought i did for a while turns out that was a noo. somethings gota change and i think it needs to start with the scenery, start at the base and work my way up, friends can and will be replaced and everything will sorta fall into place.

hmm i wonder if ill be missed at all? i wonder if ill get that i miss you text if i do my response may very well be harsh and short...

i miss you

...So!

how are you?

im gd

kl

yep..... cya then

not to sound like a dickhead but my luv only stretches so far and once its gone its jus flopin loose in the background there, we'll be kl but im not gona try, why shud i, you gave up frist... yup ive turned a it cold hearted, a few more years and i cud be 100 i think. but its kool my one reader we'll be kl your shit to talk to on fb chat and a bit lame to txt these days but i like to think we have an understanding.

sleep time..... so to recap random texts have stopped, ppl who i bug when unneeded can preti much live their life without interuption from me and anyone doesnt respond to anything go on without me. this is not a bitch this is me being less childish and telling it like it is and you dealing with it... or not wat evs